The woman, the man & rest of us!

So we have 3 characters here –

‘W’ = the woman, an attractive woman.
‘M’ = the man, not a mirror cracking material but neat & clean, maintains good hygiene & wears good cloth if not designer ones.
‘O’ = rest of us guys.

‘W’ & ’M’ met at ATM last Tuesday and ’M’ got her cell number.
['O'- the b@$t@^d got lucky.]
How did he get her number? Let’s assume here that ’M’ somehow got ‘W’s number – to make the story short.

Friday evening ‘M’ calls up ‘W’ ['W' – who is this? …oh is that guy I met at the ATM? …he seemed interesting but all of them sound interesting at first only to be found loser or pushy or plain jerk later…hmm but what I would loose if I talk to him for a second, he is a little different I guess…] and ’W' takes the call just a second before it was to be missed.

‘M’ –
Hey I am going to this restaurant for dinner and they say they serve really tasty food over there.
['W'– oh so he wants to ask me out. I am not going out with a guy I just met at ATM. Hmm… | 'O'– you don’t talk to girl like this. Just come to the point idiot…ask her out…God she is hot!].

So kinda thought you might wanna have something yummy with some of the tastiest conversations this weekend. ['W' – my mom prepares the tastiest food…like in the whole world. What do you think? Just because you’d buy me dinner I would go out with you? No chance…by the way what’s he is gonna talk about? | 'W'- she is not interested in your BS buddy]

‘W’ –
Hey hi! Thanks for asking but …hmm… I have plans with my friend this weekend.
['W' – great! this was meant to happen if you talk like jerk]

‘M’ –
That’s ok. I am busy next 2 weekends – my family is coming here for 2 weeks.
['W' – so what? Next 2 weeks he is gonna spend with his family…hmm I don’t know he seems nice but how could possibly I go out with a guy I just met at ATM for 2 minutes… | 'O' – she is not bothered about your schedule @$$h0!e]

By the way the food over there is worth trying and I thought if you don’t like the food I’ll pay for the food and you can pay for the talks.
['W' – he sounds kinda weird. What is he up to? …I gave my number to him…so what? I gave my number to him doesn’t mean I have to go out with him. | 'O' – stop it, you are screwing your chances with her forever]

And if food is really good you are lucky! You can pay for both.
['W' – haha he is something…interesting. | 'O' – have you lost it? Be a gentleman]

Any way you have plans this weekend so I guess I get to enjoy my dinner this weekend peacefully with my friends.
['W'- hmm... he’d go out with his friends? so what? I should not go out with a guy I met at ATM for 2 minute…actually I gave my number to him…hmm…but at least he is not pushy. Hmm let me think… | 'O' – of course she is not going with you jerk!]

You have great time with your friends. Bye!
['W'- …hmm…he is not pushy at all. | 'O'- looks like she has a boy friend.]

‘M’ disconnects the phone.

['W'- …hmm…]
['W'- …hmm…]
['W'- …hmm…]

30 minutes later W’ takes out her phone ['W'-hmm…] and dials ‘M’s number.
‘W’-
Hey….

Dealing with personal INSECURITIES

How to deal with your own personal INSECURITIES

The context here is when you are with people. This post is basically for guys ‘cause women in general are good at this.

Try these 4 steps:

1) Make a list of all the things you’re insecure about.
Put things like “I don’t make a lot of money”, “I don’t drive a nice car”, “I don’t look like Salman Khan/Aishwarya Rai”… whatever.

2) Then spend time accepting each of those things;
things that you can not change about yourself. Accept who you are.
Note here- there are many things that you are insecure about; can be changed / improved. I’d say do not accept them as they are; work on them and make the changes required.

3) Learn to laugh at the things you’re insecure about.
Sense of humor is necessary element…work on it.

4) Tell the fact (depending on the context and situation).
Telling truth is crucial. ’cause I personally believe hiding fact is cheating and that makes me bad person.
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Example -
Lets say- you are in an interview and the interviewer asks about a paper you flunked in during 2nd year of engineering [Well I flunked in all Electronics papers]. Here is what you might say -

“When I was going though engineering college admission process one of the current student warned me that getting engineering degree from this college is not easy…it takes minimum 6 years for an average student to complete BE here.
I took the challenge that I’d complete BE in 5 years and God! I did wonder! I completed that in 4 years with few repeat papers”

laugh on this and then put the fact right away like “my electronics was not good” or whatever is true reason.

Now, realize that what you are/do is what you are/do, and if they don’t like it, it has nothing to do with YOU. It doesn’t matter. There are lots of good people out there and they would like you for who you are; there are good many opportunities out there you would fit in.

Then imagine another one, and how you’ll respond to it. Go through the entire list. Learn to laugh at the things you’re insecure about.
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Here is another example. I was very insecure about my color when I was kid*. I was thinking people would judge me because of my dark color.

*till 7th grade. After 7th many girls, boys started hanging around with me and eventually I came out of that insecurity.

Well, now if a person asks me about my color (obviously only a jerk would ask you that; my girlfriend’s brother asked me that once ;) ), I would just laugh and tell the person –
“Yes I am dark and very photogenic…anyway women go crazy for dark men”
and probably I’d show that person my photo with my beautiful girlfriend – latest one…and…I mean latest photo and not latest girlfriend ;)
I would care less what the person thinks about me.

Take the time to really think through all the areas of your life that you are “insecure” about, and work out your issues around those areas.

I think this could be a GREAT first step towards building confidence with people.

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PS: 1. This post has borrowed some material from the talks I had with my best buddy Vikram about few of his individual counseling sessions.
2. Step 2 has been suggested by many selfhelp program speakers/gurus.

You wanna go through it all over again!

You are a man/woman with principles.
You ONLY do this and don’t do THAT.
You are balanced, confident, assertive, choosy….
You are somebody!
You are happy! At least you think you are.
Life is going on with a smooth pace.

Someone comes in your life.
You are happier. Full of life!
You are really happy!
Your life is full of bangs (!)!
Life starts going with a faster pace.

Someday the person is leaving you.
You break all the principles to stop him/her.
You can do ANYTHING to stop him/her.
You are seen as clown.
Life is at stake.

The person doesn’t stop.
All the rules of life have been broken.
The confidence is gone.
You feel like looser.
You are really sad.
Life has stopped for you.

              .

              .

              .

              .

And given you choice you still want to go through it all over again!